Oh My Congress!

I got an email this morning from a political site listing a bunch of bills that are under consideration by the new Congress. This is like having a horror film emailed right to your home. Actually, it's more like getting the theatrical trailer emailed to your home, because it's a lot worse in its entirety.

This Congress convened on January 5th, and already more than 700 bills have been introduced in the two Houses. Here's a small sample:

H.R. 15 creates a nationalized system of free health care.
This is a great idea. I can't wait to see how this works out.

H.R. 414, the Camera Phone Predator Alert Act, requires cameras in cell phones to make an audible sound to alert others (such as in locker rooms) when a picture is taken.
Right, because there definitely isn't any way to get around this solution.

H.R. 346 repeals the automatic pay raises Congress receives.
This actually is a good idea, therefore, it has no chance of being passed.

H.R. 390 addresses "college football playoff games" while H.R. 187 says let Cubans play American baseball.
If we don't fix college football and allow Cubans to play baseball, the economy will collapse and the world will come to an end.

H.R. 227 states that human life begins at fertilization.
This seems like a good idea. Of course, if I actually read the bill, who knows what else might be lurking in there?

H.R. 254 moves voting to the weekend.
That way, people will be even less likely to be paying attention, if that's even possible.

H.R. 113 requires anything funded by an earmark to be audited. Perhaps things like H.R. 202, which creates a "Museum of Ideas."
Here's an idea: Go home, Congress!

H.R. 116 ends political "robocalls" if you are on the "Do Not Call" Registry, while Senate bill S. 30 wants there to be caller ID honesty.
You mean, there's dishonesty in the caller ID system? I'm shocked!

H.R. 126 would limit citizenship at birth only to those who have at least one parent who is a citizen or legal resident. H.R. 160 would limit Social Security benefits to only legal citizens or residents.
We should just stop the charade and admit to everyone that the ponzi scheme that is the Social Security system will not be around in 10 years.

H.R. 155 would ban taxes on unemployment benefits for two years, while H.R. 162 bans taxes on Social Security benefits.
Nothing like taxing the second time around, eh?

H.R. 87 says "Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is," and invites those who like to pay taxes to voluntarily pay extra taxes.
Hear, hear! While I agree with the sentiment, who's wasting time on this one?

Or how about just a "Fair Tax" as called for in H.R. 25.
Any tax reform proposal is scary coming from these jokers.

H.R. 70 would make it a hate crime to display a noose with the intent to intimidate. And H.R. 40 explores paying reparations to African-Americans.
Aaaaaaugh!

S. 213 would create an Airline Passenger Bill of Rights.
Cool. Another Bill of Rights that can be totally misinterpreted.

And Sen. John McCain (R-Ariz.) is back in the swing of things. He's introduced S. 151, a bill to protect Indian arts and crafts.
I'm sure that's just a drop in the 10 trillion dollar debt bucket...

So, there you have it. Aren't you proud to be an American?